I recently celebrated 5 YEARS CANCER FREE, I have been looking forward to this since the day my oncologist told me I had cancer. I can vividly remember walking into the hospital knees shaking, I have never been so terrified in all my life. I laid on the table and silently cried, not because of the pain but because of the fear. I knew in the pit of my stomach that I had cancer.
That gut wrenching fear never goes away, it does get better. I still feel that fear every time I walk into a doctors office, get a blood draw or feel any ache or pain. The anxiety and fear and be absolutely debilitating at times. It lurks like an ugly monster waiting to attack.
5 years CANCER FREE is a huge milestone for a breast cancer survivor. Yes, I definitely celebrated but this year was bittersweet. As I thought of how far I have come, I kept thinking about my "pink sisters". I thought about how I had, had my last date with chemo but that some of my friends would never get to experience being "deported" (the surgery to remove your chemo port), because some of them would be on chemo for the remainder of their lives. Cancer is a nasty selfish bit*h it doesn't care how much your friends and family love you. Cancer can take away so so much for a person but it can't take away the love that we have for each other.
So I CELEBRATE my beautiful friends that are currently battling this beast. You women are my hero's
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PSA:::::: THIS BLOG WILL BE COMPLETELY HONEST, some of you may be offended.. BUT, these are my feelings and accounts of what has transpired in my life.
As many of you know I had a bilateral mastectomy on December 27, 2012. SO many people have said to me, "You are so brave", "WOW so courageous", etc.. Funny things is I wasn't any of these. Honestly, I was simply TERRIFIED and would have done literally anything to give myself better odds at being here for my husband and young boys,. ANNNND, to be VERY honest, there was no love for my former "ladies". My boobs had served their purpose. They had fed two babies, for a much longer then anticipated time frame. So for the women reading this blog, that breast fed I'm sure you can attest to the fact the "ladies" are no longer the happy perky boobs that they had been in a former life. My pre-breast cancer boobs were a HOT MESS. Here is a visual if I stood up and bent down my boobs looked like nasty tube socks, I swear, they could have hit the floor. AND do NOT get me started on my nipples..........those puppies were like Vienna sausages.
My tumor was fairly small, around a pea sized. Doctors always ask, how on earth did you find this. It was so easy to find, if I laid on my back flat, each boob would fall to the opposite side, so, yes, finding this tumor was no issue at all.
*****Thank you for reading my blog, there will be many more blogs relating to this issue
After my breast cancer diagnosis, I started reading up on all the chemicals in the products we use every day. It was scary information. These chemicals are not natural and are, therefore, having a negative impact on our bodies. Cancer, for one thing. I vowed then to try to eliminate as much of the chemicals as I could from my life. I started with deodorant.
I learned that commercial deodorants are full of harmful chemicals, aluminum, and parabens. None of these are good for our bodies and may even cause cancer. Parabens, for example, mimic estrogen. I stopped wearing deodorant immediately.
Skipping deodorant is never the way to win friends and influence people! I’m sure I was pretty stinky during those days. My own mother even told me I smelled bad. I found recipes online for natural deodorant and tried several of them. Soon I was changing the recipes and adding my own touch to them. To my amazement, they worked great!
I gave away jars of my deodorant to friends and family and they loved it. My sister, Julie, who lives in the heat and humidity of Florida, liked it so much that she suggested I start selling it. I had never considered it! I researched how to start a small business, how to market a small business, and how to build a website. Soon, Spero-Hope was born.
I know what you are thinking….You’re thinking “when will Jamie have time to write a blog? She’s always so busy.” It’s true. I am busy. I am busy being a wife to my husband and a mother to my two wonderful, active boys. I am busy being a small business owner. I am busy being a cheerleader to many women who are going through breast cancer. I am busy raising awareness and financial support for breast cancer research. Oh, did I mention the two dogs?
I am starting this blog because I believe I have a lot of stories to tell, my own personal story and the stories of others I know. It is my hope that the stories of my breast cancer journey, the launching and growth of my business, Spero-Hope, LLC, and the people I have met along the way will serve as an inspiration for others.
So, yes, I am busy, but sharing this information is important to me. When one is passionate about something, they make the time to do it. That’s what I intend to do.